Thanksgiving Etiquette

We’re celebrating Thanksgiving this Sunday, a little earlier than everyone in the States, but that’s no worry. Our friends are hosting some people at their house and I can’t wait to dig into turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing. I actually had a Thanksgiving luncheon yesterday with my American Women’s Club so I’ve pre-gamed a bit for the main event. For the record, still very, very excited.

While heaps of food may be foremost in my mind there’s still room for etiquette in there. When you’re surrounded by family it’s easy to shove those rules and gentle reminders of general politeness and manners out of the way in favor of camaraderie and intimacy. But thanks to my parents I do think it’s important to remember a few rules of etiquette during the holiday season, especially if you are celebrating with friends and people who are not blood-related to you and thus forced to forgive you.

Bon Appetit’s Modern Guide to Thanksgiving Etiquette is just brilliant. It’s contemporary in relevance (cell phones and electronic thanks you’s are up for discussion) but timeless in its considerations. Just be a nice guest, a person that people genuinely want to invite again and again.

There are tips on what to bring (homemade goodies if you can) and what to wear (smart casual), as well as tips for the host, including a timeline and playlist suggestions. Football, leftovers, toasts and how to organize a seating plan are in there as well. With the holiday coming right up, these tips are a great refresher.

What are you up to this weekend? My birthday is tomorrow and Adam’s is on Monday so we are having a little birthday dinner at home tonight: fried chicken and Champagne! Apparently it’s a dynamite combination and there’s even a restaurant in New York dedicated to the pairing–Birds & Bubbles. I’d love to just stroll around Bern and meet up with friends tomorrow, after Adam brings me coffee in bed and I open my presents and cards, that is : )

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and stay warm!

(image 1 via // image 2 and 3 via)

Hiking Around Mürren

Last weekend Adam’s friend Kyle was visiting us and wanted to go on an adventure. We had spent Friday bumming around Zurich, indulging in the unseasonably stellar weather and frequenting some of our favorite spots. On Saturday we walked around Bern dodging rain and grabbing beers with a few friends. But, Sunday we knew we wanted to get out and go for a long walk. It only made sense to go to the tallest mountains in Switzerland, which are only an hour and half away by train.

 

 

 

We took the train to Lauterbrunnen and caught the cable car up to Grütschalp (by the way, the higher you go into the mountains the more you’ll find words with less vowels and those that do remain probably have an umlaut. Pronunciation becomes extremely comical). From Grütschalp you can take several routes leading to Mürren, as well as other Bernese Oberland towns. We stuck with the flattest, which also offered unparalleled views.

 

 

 

It’s an extremely easy walk and took us about 2 hours, though we did break pretty frequently for photos. Most everyone suggests walking in this direction (as opposed to walking from Mürren) because the largest of the Alps stay in front of you. Specifically, we are interested in the Jungfrau (13,642 ft), Mönch (13,448 ft) and Eiger (13,025 ft) mountains, the three tallest in Switzerland.

^^still working on that closed-mouth smile…

Once we arrived in Mürren it was clear that we had reached the Alpine village of our dreams: old chalets with window boxes dripping with gorgeous, vibrant flowers and tiny paths that connected all the homes and restaurants together. It seems so obvious that this is such a popular destination for hiking during the summer and skiing during the winter. No cars are allowed in the village so it has a very peaceful and easy feel to it.

After watching paragliders zip through the valley (as someone who is afraid of heights I literally cannot image the simultaneous terror and exhilaration of paragliding in that setting) we took the cable car to Schiltorn, one of the highest lookout points in the area at 9,740 feet. On the way, there is a brief stop at Birg where you can take a few pictures and wait for the next cable car up. They have a sky walk lookout point that was fun for everyone but me. I make it a rule not to stand on metal grates pretty much anywhere, sidewalks included, and this vista proved no exception. The fellas had a nice time though.

^^Phil, being a nut

Arriving at Schiltorn, we were treated to a stunning view. I can’t believe how fortunate we were to have such clear skies, especially given that Bern was shrouded in fog when we left. It’s proof enough to me that you just have to get out and explore and hope for the best.

Man! What a good day. I can’t wait for more visitors so we can take them here. It might just be one of my favorite places in the country.

Our Week in the States: The Wedding

Now that the wedding is nearly two weeks behind us we’ve had a chance to share our memories with the friends who couldn’t be there or recap some of the night’s best moments with those who could. Reliving one of the best days of my life has been a dream.

A lot of people told me that they didn’t remember anything about their wedding, that it all went by too quickly for them to even process. I can say that happened for much of the week leading up to the wedding weekend, but thankfully the preparations before and both the ceremony and reception are crystal clear. My hair was wrapped up in a ballerina bun in about five minutes (with about 50 bobby pins and 500 spritzes of hair spray) and I had a chance to just read a magazine while Courtney’s romantic low bun was completed. That, and sipping coffee with one of my best friends in the morning, really set the tone for the whole day. It was very relaxed and calm and intentional. Man, I just loved it all.

Below you’ll find a smattering of pictures from the day, but by no means is it comprehensive…

Our coordinators at Berg Event Space were trying out a new brand of champagne and Courtney and I got to be models for their promotion. Sipping champagne and laughing with your best friend, posing for pictures all the while, sure is hard work (that I’ll do any day for free).

Look at that sweet family! The triplets were so wonderful walking down the aisle, throwing petals and picking them back up all the way down : )

As we were trying to work out a way to delineate the altar space our florist suggested a hanging installation of loose branches. It sounded ethereal and beautiful and was even more stunning in person. I loved it and thought it was much more interesting than two tall planters on either side, which was our first suggestion. Professionals rule! It ended up looking so cool hanging above our band as the space transitioned into the reception area.

Our fabulous, fabulous parents.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Courtney, the girl in the middle of this photo is responsible for setting us up!! We couldn’t be more grateful for her matchmaking skills.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love this picture of Adam’s dad: smiles all day long.

 

 

The LYLAS girls–Courtney, Claire, meself, Whitney, Laura and Hayley

 

A perfect cake topper

Above was a big mix of photos taken by Kyle and iPhone photos from our friends. It’s been hard tracking down all the pictures, but they are slowly coming in. Part of me wishes we would have left disposable cameras at each table because I’m sure we would have gotten some gems. This crowd was a really good one.

I can’t wait to see the professional photos, however. I’ll be sure to share those with you when they come in if you’re interested : )

Overall, the day was incredibly magical and wonderful and as perfect as possible. We loved it, and we loved having the opportunity to share our love and commitment with our closest kin. I had a few flashbacks to our first wedding and how intimate and special it was. I’m so happy (and feel so lucky!) to have both experiences to look back to. In fact, I might just recommend this strategy to everyone! Get married alone a year before your actual party–it makes the day feel so relaxed and FUN!

Our friends and family made this day amazing and we owe them heaps of gratitude and love for all their support and encouragement. Thank you so, so much for making it such a treasure.

 

Our Week in the States: The Rehearsal Dinner

Immediately after the rehearsal, hosted in our living room, we snapped a few pictures in our backyard. Above is my sweet younger sister Courtney and Adam’s best friend Kyle, the matron of honor and best man, respectively. We kept our bridal party tiny, especially because we are already married, and I love how much support we felt from these two. They’re just the best.

Adam’s parents hosted a beautiful rehearsal dinner at J. Gilbert’s in Overland Park. It’s a wonderful steak house with a warm and moody interior and dynamite food. We were cozy in the back room and has tons of privacy, which made for an easy and wonderful evening. From my spot in the middle I was able to look around the entire room and see how much fun everyone was having: laughing, chatting and enjoying perfect Kansas City steaks. I loved this night.

 

^^Adam and I with his dad. Joe knows how to work a room! He is seriously everyone’s best friend and such good company.

Our Week in the States: Part 1

It’s hard to imagine a better ten days back in the US. Christmas was nice, of course, and we loved being at home last summer before we moved, although that was for a lot longer than ten days. The last week that we were back, however, was truly exceptional: the best people, the best places, and the best times I can imagine.

Adam and I started in Charleston for a long weekend and I wish I had more pictures to share with you other than the two I have, but we were too busy making memories and being present, which I consider a major success considering how much we looked forward to this trip. The whole thing was very bittersweet. With every friend we met up with we continually wondered why we ever left the place. It’s wonderful to know all those friendships are still very much intact and that we could pick up where we left off, but it’s also hard to imagine being so far away from them and not knowing exactly when we’ll be back.

^^can you see my hair beginning to expand in this photo? I swear, it started out straight! (maybe not really, but almost..)^^

I met up with a couple of my girlfriends from graduate school for brunch at Husk, a major must if you’re in the city (also, consider visiting the bar next door for wicked bourbon cocktails and the best burger imaginable). We then hit King Street pretty hard and I swooned over some of my favorite stores (think J. Crew, Madewell, Anthropologie, etc.) and American prices. Everything felt like a steal! We met up with Adam and friends at Bay Street Biergarten, a very cool addition to the downtown area, and finished with dinner at Leon’s Oyster Shop with a table of even more friends. Insider Tip: go for either the fish sandwich or fried chicken sandwich and don’t turn back. Obviously we couldn’t leave without a quick stop at The Belmont for gin and tonics.

On Sunday we feasted at Butcher & Bee, our absolute favorite brunch spot, and then relaxed at my editor’s house with her kids and husband. It was a hot afternoon soothed by welcome libations and homemade duck prosciutto. In short, they know how to entertain. For dinner, we supped with Adam’s old roommate and a few more friends. It was the perfect cap to the weekend.

Upon arriving in Kansas City we hit the ground running: errands and shopping; meeting with friends and family; and finding a few moments to relax amidst all the chaos. I was hit pretty hard with some ferocious allergies and didn’t feel like myself nearly all week. It was a bit rough, considering the temperature never went below 90 degrees and that intensity only added to the general fatigue I felt. But, I’m a survivor so we carried on : )

 

We visited with the triplets, which was amazing. They still prefer their Uncle Adam to their actual blood relative, but I’m planning to spoil them with candy and credit cards so they will like me by Christmas. I love them like a crazy person.

My friend Jill came in town extra early and she got a manicure and pedicure with my sister, sister-in-law and me and it was a wonderful calm-before-the-storm moment. So was my “bridal luncheon” with Courtney at Rye, a great place for lunch or dinner.

For me, the wedding day is crystalline, but the week leading up to it is the real blur. Every day I felt like I looked at the clock and thought, No, it can’t already be that late! Those days slipped by faster than I would have liked, but it really was one of my favorite weeks of the year. And, it was surprisingly easy to fall back into routines we had left behind. One morning Adam and I left Nordstrom, after buying ties, shoes and makeup, grabbed our iced coffees, hopped in my mom’s Suburban and drove across the street to Target to stock up on a few toiletries and medicines we like. It felt so suburban. So American. We couldn’t help but laugh at how different our experiences are here in Bern.

Obviously we won’t have our professional photos of the wedding for a few weeks but I’d love to share a few that were taken by us and friends and family throughout the day and night. I’ll work on getting some of those photos ready for next week if you’d like to see them. Until then, I’ll be getting as much sunlight as possible to help me return to this time zone. I spent about three hours counting sheep last night and I’d love to get back to a rhythm soon.

We’re Back!

We’re exhausted and bursting with emotion and love, but we are back in Bern and married again.

Best. Week. Ever.

Updates and pictures to come after some much needed sleep.

Reset

Yesterday Adam passed along this article about hitting the reset button while on vacation and it could not have been more timely. While many summer vacations may already be over, we are about to embark on two big holidays and preparing ourselves to tune in to our loved ones and tune out the noise is imperative to enjoying our trips.

In the article, Daniel J Letvitin explains how our attention spans work:

“The processing capacity of the conscious mind is limited. This is a result of how the brain’s attentional system evolved. Our brains have two dominant modes of attention: the task-positive network and the task-negative network (they’re called networks because they comprise distributed networks of neurons, like electrical circuits within the brain). The task-positive network is active when you’re actively engaged in a task, focused on it, and undistracted; neuroscientists have taken to calling it the central executive. The task-negative network is active when your mind is wandering; this is the daydreaming mode. These two attentional networks operate like a seesaw in the brain: when one is active the other is not.”

While the science behind the concept may be new to you, the consequences are not: if we constantly give weight to the task-positive part of our brain (the network that wants to check emails and respond to crises happening perhaps miles and miles away), then we never have a chance to actively daydream and let our mind wander. As Letvitin says later in the article, this is a curse of the overpowering Information Age. We’re subject to news feeds and jibber-jabber that is constantly vying for our attention.

And why is it so important to daydream?

“Daydreaming leads to creativity, and creative activities teach us agency, the ability to change the world, to mold it to our liking, to have a positive effect on our environment. Music, for example, turns out to be an effective method for improving attention, building up self-confidence, social skills and a sense of engagement.

This radical idea — that problem solving might take some time and doesn’t always have to be accomplished immediately — could have profound effects on decision making and even on our economy.”

Tomorrow we leave for Charleston to visit our friends and relax for the weekend. It’s been over a year since we’ve seen our beloved city and our even more beloved friends and we are committed to giving both our full attention. There will be plenty of emails from Adam’s work and questions from wedding vendors that need an opinion or answer to this and that, but I know that resisting the urge to answer those inquiries will help me feel more present and relaxed and able to daydream and wander.

On Monday we head back to Kansas for wedding week! What a busy week that will be! But, same story here. There will be dozens of people to see and tons of activities to do and hitting that reset button will make for a far more enjoyable week at home. I can’t believe it’s already time for us to get married again : )

What about you? Do you have trouble taking a mental vacation when you’re supposed to be on vacation? Does anyone else struggle with this? I like to document our travels on Facebook and Instagram, but even that competes with my attention to loved ones and isn’t a way to truly disconnect. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

 

Make New Friends but Keep the Old, Friday

 

 

 

 

A few snaps of bright spots around the apartment: bringing the outdoors in; new photos in the kitchen; swapping out pillows on the sofa; a bouquet that won’t quit (10 days now!).

How was your week? Yesterday morning I closed our guest room door too hard and caused a framed picture to fall off the dresser and break into a million pieces. The broken edge of the frame scratched four different marks into the one-of-a-kind watercolor and I have to say I’m pretty bummed. The corners of the frame also dug a few gouges into the (parquet) floor and I’m kicking myself for being so reckless.

But, I spent the whole afternoon with my friend and her three stellar daughters and I completely forgot about my disappointment and had a really great day. Aren’t friends so important? I talk endless about missing friends from home or about my desire to make new ones, but I’m so grateful for the special ones I have here.

Maybe take a minute to reach out to your buddies and let them know how much they mean to you: an extra hug or a virtual high-five to let your pal know how valued they are.

 

And now for the links!

I listened to this song three times this morning.

Farro salad for this weekend. Yum!

Madewell is killing it with their new spring pieces: a sweet dress, a tank for everyday wear (and perfect for Greece), a cool-girl athletic sweater, a chambray romper (gimme!), and the best Vans.

We just bought a waterproof picnic blanket from eBay for summer days at the park and by the river, but here’s a great US option if you’re in the market.

Capybaras are the chillest bro homies.

How Well-Read Are You? I got 37, let me know your score in the comments! (Thanks, Erin!)

Finishing a pretty bad book right now, but looking forward to starting this one next.

Does anyone watch “The Colbert Report”? I think he’s hilarious and last week he stirred up some controversy based on a racially insensitive joke (um, what’s new, amiright?). The Atlantic breaks down in a genius way why Colbert was in the right and his critics were in the wrong.

My absolute favorite blush (Orgasm shade).

Facts that sound like huge lies. The graphics (and commentary) made me laugh out loud.

Daily cartoon.

Hip Hop Academy at Harvard.

 

I hope you have a marvelous weekend full of fun, friends, and good times.

Bachelor Party Surprise

I love surprises.

I love friends.

I love expensive things.

All of these are true but I really cherish the first two and during my second weekend at home last month I enjoyed both…for a SURPRISE BACHELOR PARTY (I do not like the word bachelorette for some strange reason [has nothing to do with feminism, etc.] so although this was definitely a female party I’m still going to call it a bachelor party. Moving forward!)

On Saturday I had my final wedding dress fitting with my mom, aunt, sister, and mother-in-law, followed by a stand-out lunch and more shopping in the afternoon. I was so, so tired from all the festivities and was looking forward to ordering in Chinese food with my sis and a couple of girlfriends. To note, here was our lovely lady lunch:

 

 

Yeah, so maybe it was the steak and red wine at lunch that put me into a sleepy place, but trust me, I was a bit wiped out to start. But, as we were pulling into our driveway my aunt told me that she had a present for me. It was really big and it was really expensive. I woke up.

I was intrigued.

Everyone slowly followed me into the garage where we found nothing but my dad hard at work cleaning my mom’s car. As we walked through into the house and through the kitchen I could hear muted whispers and I finally turned around and asked why everyone was being weird and following me. Rather than answers I received a shove toward the basement and my aunt’s reminder that a big, expensive present awaited me downstairs. And this is what happened:

I’ll refrain only slightly from completely waxing poetic on my friendship with Claire, Laura, Hayley, Whitney, and my sister Courtney because friendship is nothing new to you. BUT, these five women are the best women. We’ve known each other nearly all our lives and met when we were wee youngsters at church. We were always chummy but our friendship really peaked and became exclusive in high school during our summer mission trips. We named ourselves LYLAS (love you like a sister) slightly ironically but more honestly than any of us would admit at the time. And while Claire and Laura really are sisters and Courtney and I are sisters as well I would without any trace of doubt consider all of them my closest of kin.

So, to have Whitney fly in from Florida and Laura fly from California and watch Claire at the end of that video run toward Courtney to get her to join in our cheer fest, six-month pregnant belly first, means the world to mean and equals mountains and mountains of love.

We had dinner at Extra Virign, which I’ve been wanting to try for ages and my sister was clever enough to reserve the private room, because trust me, you do not want to be a part of this. It’s annoying as hell to anyone not in the know and our waiter literally ran away from us at the end of the night when we tried to snap a picture with him. We may all be in our mid-to-late-twenties but some things (like foul humor, name calling and Mean Girls quotes) never change from high school.

After dinner we went back to Courtney’s house and indulged in an epic sleepover, and I unfortunately have to spare you all those details. Girls only!! No bunny costumes, no penis paraphernalia, no scavenger hunts at the bars. It was perfect. If I only get to see these girls once or twice a year (if we’re terribly lucky, like we are this year) then I just want to enjoy them and not scream over music at a stupid bar.

^^Laura (aka Jessica Rabbit) and Whitney

 

 

^^myself and Hayley

OH, and Courtney’s husband Jared was our chauffeur for the evening and he was excellent:

^^he even wore one of my dad’s leather hats (!!) like a true gentleman

The night was everything. It was amazing and I’m so grateful for good friends with good hearts and surprisingly foul senses of humor. Claire, Laura, Whitney and Hayley I love you like you are my truest and best sister. Courtney, I love you like a crazy person and feel so blessed that you really are my sister.

To friendship!

 

 

People I Care About

The above is true. Like, unfortunately true, although that number admittedly is a little higher. I’m rotating among my favorites while I’m home and dang if it isn’t awesome.

Right now I’m listening to thunder rumbling outside in the middle of February. Could Kansas weather be any weirder? I arrived to mountains of snow that have since mostly melted away and yesterday it was 65 degrees. Tonight thunderstorms and tomorrow possibly snow. What life is this?!

Weather aside I’m in heaven. I went to an amazing wedding–even got a shout out for coming across the world!–have had seriously good triplet time, brunched with my besties, dined with my sister on a #sisterwives date, shopped at a few of my favorite stores with my mom, and caught up with my dad who is always so crazy busy at work. Truly, what life is this that I am living so well with so many beautiful people?

I still miss my main man though, just like I thought. Now, off to more good times!

(quote found here)