16 | January | 2012 | A Broad At Home

an avocado was launched into the side of my house.

Um, speechless.

What happened next:

I’m not a math person, but applying principles of varying angles and vectors (??) I deduced this thing could have only come from one direction, and I think I located the source.
My roommate and I set out in the aforementioned direction and knocked around looking for the culprit. None was found, but I did find quite a few pairs of shifty eyes…
If we WOULD have found the criminal, I would have grabbed that little hooligan by the ear, dragged him over and made him clean the mess. My roommate added that she would have made him (only a “he” would have done this) clean it in his underwear while we filmed him, and then post the video online. She’s one tough cookie. And from Baltimore.
After cleaning the stinkin’ mess, we concluded that there was no possible way this fruit was thrown. It could only have been launched. I’m thinking potato launcher. On the lookout.
I have a small taste of paranoia and it is not a good color on me.